Lister: The thing is, I try, sir. I am not an insubordinate guy by character. I try and regard Rimmer and every little thing but it surely's tough, 'cos he is such a smeghead!
Rimmer: Oh, he's just sleeping off the belly pump...He'll be alright, the lamb was a little bit of a flop however.
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I mean, look at me: I presumed that all through history, all renowned men and women had been astounding. After which you can I satisfied you! And I realised they are not. Actually you might be a little bit of a knob. Just like me. Which implies which i'm alright.
Rimmer: I know that, emotionally Talking, this isn't the information you wish to hear right this moment. But there is a blob about the sonar scope the scale of recent Mexico and It truly is heading your way.
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It absolutely was tempting to reply with "Um, because it's as part of your restaurant identify" — but chose to hold issues polite: "We're thinking about exactly where eating places get their merchandise."
Captain Hollister: Rimmer, is this salute at any time likely to stop? Do I have enough time to Select a cup of coffee? Possibly go on family vacation?
Harmony: This is actually the capacitor. The cops get their palms on this, we are deader than Galileo's concept of tides.
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Rimmer: Did you hear that, sir? Lister, do you have any conception in the penalty for describing a exceptional technician for a smeghead?
Lister: It was better than currently being a hen. Have read this you ever noticed the dimensions of an egg? Seen the size of the rooster's bum? That's what every one of the clucking was about. I was trying to say in hen-talk "for God's sake, give me an epidural!"
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Cat: There's an old cat proverb, "It really is far better to Dwell just one hour as a tiger than a complete life span for a worm."